Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
