After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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