yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
