I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
