I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
