Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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