I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
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