OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
