i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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