I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
