my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm at about main and main street
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
MIDGETS
????
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
