i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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