how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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