Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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