I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
