i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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