it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
