Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
