mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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