Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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