The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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