I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
