I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
