No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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