It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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