Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
