and you said cock pushups were impossible
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm having to shit out rocks
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
