Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
The uberlube is also flammable
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
