I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
