All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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