I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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