I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize