I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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