Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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