PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
