I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
