I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
