I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
