he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
