why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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