We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
