in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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