Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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