living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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