how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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