My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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