What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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