Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
