I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
