If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
