So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
