I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
