If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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