Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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