just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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