i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I love having hate sex.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You made out with two different species that night
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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