I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
