New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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